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My Family Meeting Binder^™ is going GREEN!

We use 100% recycled paper when printing our binder content, and now offer our customers more environmentally friendly options! Customers can purchase My Family Meeting Binder in an electronic version (via CD or Instant Download)! Read more…

Media 

Watch the video below to learn more about the importance of Family Meetings. (Note: The video has sound. Please adjust your volume.)

Family Meeting Article Excerpt

The following article excerpt provides great insight into the key components of a great Family Meeting solution! (This article excerpt is used with permission from The National Family Meeting Association.)

It has been said, “Everyone is a perfect parent until he or she actually becomes one.” In other words, all the research and theories don’t really mean anything until you have put them to the test in your own family.

You are completely unique and different from any other person in this world, and the same is true for every person in your family. So, as you read this section on “How to do a Family Meeting,” keep in mind that this is a guideline, not a cookie cutter. The same is true for when you read about what a Family meeting looks like. The information is for you to use as a guideline, not a straightjacket.

A family meeting needs to have a foundation of unconditional love—a love that accepts and loves no matter what.

As you try to have an official family meeting, you may find yourself sliding into a rigid attitude and meeting schedule. Do everything you can to avoid this trap. The family meeting is a time to relax and enjoy your family.

At first glance, “who” is obvious—it’s a family meeting, so the family members are the ones who will attend. As you settle into the routine, however, little exceptions may begin to creep in. The needs of the office, science partner, or neighbor may begin to chisel away at the number of people at the meeting. At the kick-off meeting, establish that family meetings are meant for every family member. If a true schedule conflict develops (for example, a child’s sports team wins districts and is going on to state) re-schedule the meeting so the whole family can be present.

The reverse is also true. As children begin to really enjoy the meetings, they may want to invite friends over to participate in the family time. Depending on the situation, you might allow friends to come occasionally. Keep in mind that the presence of friends may hinder other family members from freely sharing their thoughts. Another drawback to visitors is that the “host” child tends to focus more on communicating with his friend than with his family. (To see this in action, have one supper with just your family, and then try a supper with your family plus one friend from school.)

Filling in your family’s profile is probably going to be the most fun and time-consuming part of your kick-off meeting. You’ll need a good Family Meeting product that promotes Kick-Off meetings (such as My Family Meeting Binder, found at www.myfamilymeetings.com). Be sure to be near your profile sheet to record your decisions. What types of decisions will you be making? Well, to name a few . . .

Try to decide on something that sounds positive. “The Mud Turtles” may not be the best choice. (Unless, of course, everyone in the family really likes mud turtles.) As with every decision made at this meeting, compromise is key. If you are unable to decide on a name that everyone likes, either combine the titles into one team name or vote on a name.

This is a great way to draw any team together. You might even consider purchasing matching hats or t-shirts with the family colors to wear at the meetings or when you go out as a family. One couple bought bright green shirts for the entire family of nine people. The kids loved matching each other when they went on fun family activities, and the parents loved being able to quickly locate all seven children! Keep in mind that team colors can quickly become a personal issue, with everyone having a different idea. If you find you are getting nowhere in this decision, you may want to do what our family had to do. Table the decision and vote on it first thing at the next meeting.

This will be easier to put into words if you have first answered the why  of the family meetings. You may want to also expand it to include your faith. Put your mission statement in wording that includes the entire family unit as a whole. You can start with something like:

As you compose your family’s mission statement, ask family members what they feel is most important in life. Use those answers to develop your family’s mission and vision. After entering the statement on the profile sheet, copy and save one or two copies and place them in areas where all the family members will see it every day. The above family motto is framed and hung on the wall at the bottom of the stairs. Every time someone goes up or down the stairs, he or she is reminded of the family mission.

Your mission is important and wonderful to look at every day, but a family motto is equally important. After all, what sticks in your mind more—an infomercial, or a five-word slogan from a fifteen-second commercial? The motto should sum up the family vision. For example, our family mission is summed up in four words: “Loving, Fun, Lively, and Creative.” Or, perhaps a series of short phrases could be used: “Love each other, be creative, have fun, and be kind to others.”

Another idea would be to write your motto in another language. This would be one way to build pride in your family’s heritage. The motto does not have to be limited to a phrase. It could be summed up with a song or short poem. Whatever it is, try to keep it short and catchy, since it will be the quickest way for family members to remember the family mission.

You can put a Family Picture on many of the modern day Family Meeting products. If it’s a binder, you can insert it in the inner pocket of the binder.

Like the family picture, this is not a vital part of the family meeting set-up process, but it is a nice way to increase team spirit. If you are a one-child family, consider asking the child to draw a logo before the next meeting.

Ideally, you’ll want to meet in a place that is comfortable and has easy access to seating and perhaps a computer. You will want to have your Family Meeting product handy to  choose meeting agendas, enter notes and assignments, and for fun activities related to family meetings.

Family meetings can be held with any amount of frequency. Weekly, bi-weekly, and monthly meetings are all possibilities, however, keep in mind that it is best to start with weekly meetings. It typically takes six to eight meetings held on a weekly basis for a family to settle into the routine. At the end of that time, families could decide whether or not to switch to bi-weekly meetings. Monthly meetings are better than no meeting at all, but as one counselor pointed out, you should not expect the family to ever settle into the family meeting routine.

Well-known author and speaker Elisabeth Elliott once said, “You never really know what you are thinking until you write it down.” The same is true for a family meeting—you never really know what you have decided and accomplished until it is written. Choose someone to take the minutes of the meeting every week. If no one seems too excited about doing it, consider rotating the responsibility every one to two months.

So, now that you’ve “Kicked Off” your family meeting, let’s look at what a “typical” family meeting would look like. Come to think of it, is there such a thing as a typical family meeting? Yes – they all typically start with a Family Meeting Agenda.

The Family Meeting Agenda

This is usually what people associate with a family meeting—a time when the family talks about a serious topic or makes a group decision. But who ever heard of a one-step line dance?  That’s why this step is only a part of the meeting. While this step could be considered the “largest” part of the entire meeting, it is by no means just a time for the family leaders to lower the boom on the rest of the family.

The Family Meeting Agenda activity is a time to have an honest discussion, activity, and learning time in a positive, team environment.For example, the family leaders might have recently realized that the family needs to budget a bit more. Rather than just say, “No, we can’t afford that,” the next time a child asks for an item, the parents can use the Family Meeting time to walk the whole family through the steps of planning a family budget.  It  need not always be about a serious matter. The topic could be on planning the next family vacation. This step would be one way the whole family could discuss interests, desires, and work out a plan for a vacation.

The main thing to remember, no matter what you talk about during this step, many agendas are made up of three main components, which I term as the 3D’s: Detailed Information, Discussion, and Decision. Detailed Information would usually be given at the beginning of the meeting. It is basically the introduction of the topic and any additional facts the family leaders wish to give. After the Detailed Information comes the Discussion time. Often questions to aid in the Discussion are given in the agenda. Once the information has been heard and the discussion has taken place, it is time for the Decision part of the Family Meeting.

Depending on the topic, the decision could involve an action for a set period of time (“Okay, we are all agree to save receipts from every purchase during the next month.”); or for a future emergency (“So if a fire happens in our house, we will all get out of the house and meet in Mrs. Johansson’s front yard across the street.”); or for gathering further details in order to make an informed decision (“Let’s review the list: Jack will research airline ticket prices to Arizona, Jasmine will check into camping at or near the Grand Canyon, Janine will look into the possibility of white water rafting, and I will estimate the cost of driving to Arizona. We can compare notes and make a decision at the next meeting.”). Any decisions made should be written down in the meeting notes so the family can review it at the next meeting.

Action Items

These may be used differently depending on your family and the previous week’s meeting. For example, if you discussed vacation plans the week before, this would be where each person would report on his or her research. You can also use this time to schedule other actions for individuals (“Derek, could you please install the new word processing program this week”) or for the whole family (“This Saturday is the last possible day for us to plant the garden. Let’s plan on a family work day.”) Modern Family Meeting programs (such as My Family Meeting Binder, www.myfamilymeetings.com) make it possible to record all Family action items and follow-ups.

Open Floor

What happens during Open Floor discussions also will differ from family to family. Open Floor discussions should be exactly what the name says it is—an open floor for family members to discuss anything (within the meeting rules established in the Kick-Off Meeting). If one or two people tend to dominate the Open Floor time, considering using a prop, such as a toy microphone to gently keep the person in a given timeframe.

More often than not, family members will probably have no trouble whatsoever finding something to talk about during this time. However, if you have a night where no one can think of something to say, no need to skip the step. The Open Floor is a time for the family to work on communication skills. Many Family Meeting solutions (like My Family Meeting Binder) offers a  list of starter topics and questions that you can use. Once a conversation has begun, family members may remember things they wanted to discuss, and the Open Floor can develop from there.

Closing the Meeting

Why do we like to end a meal with something sweet? Why do plays and circuses finish with a grand finale? Why do many people end their day with a soothing bath, cup of tea, or peaceful music? It’s because the we all love to leave any experience on a pleasant note. This should also be true of your meeting. Any serious topic, action assigned, or perplexing question asked should be put behind you as you end the meeting with a sweet taste in your mouth.